Breathalyser Test

March 15^{th, 2016}

Every day, I am subjected to multiple breathalyser tests.  These tests are not detecting the alcohol content in my blood nor are they being performed by law enforcement.  Think dog enforcement.  Bailey is our very own Newfoundland dog breathalyser test.  She detects contraband food or any food for that matter.  How does this happen?  We wipe her paws every time that she enters the house.  Bailey is so well-trained that she won’t leave the rug until the wipe ritual has been done.  She sits as I kneel in front of her to clean off any dirt, water or snow.  It means that my face is positioned in close proximity to her massive nose – a very sensitive and discerning nose.  Now, Bailey drools at the sight of food – our food more often than hers.  We have learned from trial and error that eating in front of Bailey means cleaning up pools of goober.  It’s just not worth the effort to munch in her presence.  Yet, we still do.  However, there are times when I have enough to do without adding extra work.  So, I find myself scarfing down food morsels before bringing Bailey inside.

Mornings are the worst for this practice.  Bailey waits about 20 minutes in her kennel enclosure after being taken outside for the first business break of the day.  I get things set-up before the household awakens in full swing one hour later.  It is also my time to savour that first cup of java.  I enjoy on occasion having something sweet with it.  For the last week, I have been downing homemade Reese’s peanut butter bars which are much better than the real thing.  They call to me from the freezer.  Coffee and a quasi-chocolate bar are the perfect partners.  I like to think of this sinful moment as “me time”.  Peanut butter is also one of Bailey’s favourite high value treats.  So, upon smelling it on my breath, Bailey often gives a look to me as if to say, “You didn’t share?”

She moves her nose closer until I can feel her hot breath on my face.  Then, her muzzle comes in contact with my skin followed by that long tongue darting out to search for rogue crumbs.  I am sure that if she could, Bailey would love to shout out to the rest of the family, “Mom’s eating dessert for breakfast!”  I guess then everyone would know who was responsible for rapidly disappearing peanut butter bars.  It won’t be much of a secret now once they read this post.  Muffins and cookies are also handled in the same manner.  Nothing escapes Bailey’s nose.  It can detect the slightest scent and the guilty party has to “pay the price”.

P.S. At almost 14 months, Bailey is now 49.4 kg or 109 pounds.